Single Again… You Are Perfect

By Kenneth Stepp


Perfect. What a high bar to set for someone. What is perfect for me won’t be perfect for anyone else. What’s your perfect? Some men want a Barbie, they love the thin lines, the blue eyes, and the blond hair. I’ve known perfect in the world’s eyes and I’ve known perfect by my eyes. I like my way the best. Could perfect have nothing to do with looks? Could if perfect be how you feel when you are with someone? Is perfect a feeling? A place? A person? I’m guessing that perfect has something to do with all the above. Perhaps it’s more about who I am when I’m with her. Maybe seeing someone for who they are and still caring has something to do with it too.


“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” ― Sam Keen, To Love and Be Loved


I recently took what I called a mini vacation. I only had two hours to drive there and it was much needed. I still worked while there, I work from my laptop. I took this “vaca” because my dear friend invited me there. Over the years her home and her presence have become my safe place, my island when the world feels a little too dark. I walk in her house and I’m home. It always feels the same to me. Astounding but true. She’s an artist so everything in her home has an artsy slant to it. I feel energy when I’m there that I don’t feel anywhere else. My friend is a middle age overworked girl that has weathered many storms. Far from being a Barbie for many reasons. But when I’m there, I see her as perfect. It’s a phenomenon I am glad for. It gives us all equal footing on the singles arena. My friend would never describe herself as perfect. But I always do. She is perfect to me.


“Some of the most beautiful things worth having in your life come wrapped in a crown of thorns.” ― Shannon L. Alder


Go look in the mirror. That person staring back at you is PERFECT! To the right person, you are perfection. You have no flaws, you are their version of Barbie. I never get preachy when I write, but one of my favorite verses in the bible is Ephesians 5:27to present her to himself in all her beauty–pure and faultless, without spot or wrinkle or any other imperfection”. If you are making your way to the family bible to check, he was talking about the church. But he was also talking about a man and his wife. I studied this chapter for over six months in every way I could. So how does a man see his mate as perfect? According to these verses, unconditional love. While I believe if I love someone, real love, unconditionally, and totally accept them that I will see perfect, it has layers like the things I mentioned before. Not just how I feel when I’m with her, but who I am when I’m with her.


“The real question is, can you love the real me? Not the perfect person you want me to be, not that image you had of me, but who I really am.” Christine Feehan, Oceans of Fire


Romantic connections, friendship connections, heck even business connections can make us feel perfect or see others as perfect. Find these type of people, crowd your life with them, don’t allow toxic people in, save those spaces for people who are not only very special to you, but let you know that you are to them as well. You really are perfect, you, the person reading these words, you are flawless to the right person. Open your orbit to them, allow them in and your life can be, well, perfect…


“I just want people to remember I’m not perfect. I just try to lead with love every day”

Kylie Bunbury


Lead with love… Great idea