Single Again… Valentine’s Day

By Kenneth Stepp


Imagine walking for days in the Mojave Desert. Now, add to that, that you ran out of food and water 3 days ago. That ladies and gentlemen, is what Valentine’s Day is like to many of us who spend it watching lovers posting their coupled up celebrations online.


Valentine’s Day is simply a reminder of how alone we have become, how isolated we have positioned ourselves to become. Yep, V-day is just one more flashing sign on the highway of life telling us to turn at the next exit. Why turn? Because, the road we are on has taken us as far as we should want to travel on it.


The old saying, “if your in a hole, stop digging”, applies here. If you are going the wrong direction, stop going that direction. Many of us are hit and miss on all holidays. We are in constant date mode, so many holidays, we have someone in our lives, some even plan it that way. This is making sure our ex lovers know how interchangeable with one another we have become.


I’m a meme reader. “Some were lessons”, are usually my favorite memes. They really are clever. But what happens when we live in a words where 5 to ten words guided our actions and how we interact with our fellow humans? Regrettably, it causes us to believe our emotionally charged actions are acceptable.


When our actions and how we treat others should be based on years of experiences, on how we have evolved as a person, and our integrity. Instead, a few words on an online post and we can justify doing anything, no matter how hurtful it was. As if we can almost torture everyone along our singles journey and not give what we’ve done another thought.


I can remember my dad so vividly when I think of the way many are today. These days, my dad would just be a target if he was still alive. Although he was a very manly man, he never took anything from anyone. He would also do anything in his power for complete strangers. The world I see today would take everything he had.


I muse at times about the lack of basic empathy so many in the singles community have for one another these days. How can people, especially men, do and say the things I hear today. Has sociopathic behavior become the norm? Is narcissism become in vogue? Are we trying to outdo each other in the selfishness category? I am still dumbfounded by it all.


Six years ago when I became single, after 24 years with my wife, I thought I remembered the way the world of dating worked. I was right, I did remember how it worked, what I wasn’t ready for is that everything had changed. So my memory of how to date versus my reality today on how to date is always wrestling with one another.


So, we are here, watching that road sign, some see a sign that simply says to turn, some see a sign that blinks LOSER LOSER LOSER, and some see a sign telling them they are going the wrong direction. They will all turn eventually.


The saddest thing about that sign is that so many of us never see it and stay the course, never going in the right direction, never having the ability to know true love again, and having no hope for the future of finding our forever love.


For me, once I’ve turned, you will know my on the road, I’m the one going way under the speed limit, and probably riding along with my blinker on…


Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. Know someone cares about you, know someone loves you, and above all else, know that you are more valuable that your human mind can ever imagine.




  1. I’m not single, but I’m in a sexless marriage. It is also a very painful place to be in. Your articles on singleness are very heart touching. Thank you.

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