By Kenneth Stepp
Ever heard the phrase, there’s always a catch? I’ve heard it my entire life. Truth is, it’s usually correct. Or, if something seemed too good to be true, it probably was…. Another one that is most of the time true. It’s like that in the dating world too. We meet someone who is kind, thoughtful, and very mindful of others, add to that, physically appealing to boot. We message, text, and phone ourselves into quite the virtual relationship. Even before we meet, feelings are growing. Emotions are there. We dream of what a future would look like with them. Then one day it happens. Their demons begin to show up, damage, past hurts and pains, have caused them to surface. The results are,. a jaded outlook and opinion on everything we do. Not sure how to avoid these people. It starts out so perfect, but doesn’t end well. I know I’ve experienced this before. Have you?
Today I am going to ride north to the mountains, stopping in a small diner if I can find one, studying humans is a passion of mine. Today I am indulging myself and surrounding myself with natural wonders, and people, of course. Every time I do this alone, I think deep thoughts about life, love, and what’s next. I have friends who think I ponder these things a bit too much. I guess I just let my mind go where it wants, and I’m sure I am not alone. Today I realized I was not alone. I don’t have someone I’m ready to pop the question to, but I have friends, I have family, I have a tribe… You know what, that just feels like enough, like a piece is missing. So I continue my journey anyway. Be it a fool’s errand or a master plan. Continue I must.
Jaded, what makes a person that way? I suppose we can all get there if we aren’t careful. I am pretty sensitive, this makes me aware of any drift that may occur. Maybe there are those that can’t sense this drift. I tend to think it isn’t their fault really. Although being on the receiving end of jaded insults isn’t pleasant, maybe they can’t help themselves. I’ve gotten to know many single girls out there, the stories I’ve heard are heartbreaking. They were lied to, cheated on, and discarded by the only person on the planet whose opinion they cared about. The other half of their whole, the man they believed was their soulmate. Someone they dedicated the majority of their adult lives to, the very person who laid next to them in bed at night and talked of what the future would hold for them. Most shared children with them. When someone you have deep roots in runs off the reservation all of the sudden, it changes you. I get that. I was lucky, my wife and I were together twenty four years. None of that happened between us.
I guess what I am saying is, we need to give one another a lot of grace. We need to understand most of the things we fear will happen, just won’t happen. I know for me, I welcome a stable and loving relationship. I can’t imagine messing that up. Most of us have the picture of the perfect life in our head. Let’s collectively burn those pictures and embrace a bold new world. A world where someone is enough, where an imperfect person will show up and be the person we are going to do life with forever. They may be shorter, heavier, and poorer than that old picture we were enslaved to. But they could be the person who will protect and love your heart till one of you are gone. How much is that worth? Burn that picture. Let’s begin enjoying life instead of enduring it. Look into the eyes of the next person in your life and ask yourself. Can I not make them pay for what someone else did to me? Let that be your new goal. Joining your real soulmate in life probably depends on it.