By Kenneth Stepp
There is an online dating site called, Plenty of Fish, meaning, plenty of fish in the sea. Most know it by POF. I have an account but I keep it hidden so I can troll the accounts of others freely. I am a people watcher, and since dating is my subject of choice to write about, I like to see what people actually want. What they are looking for in a mate and their interests also have similarities. I read the profiles of girls since that’s how I roll. They are interesting. The ones I am naturally drawn to are the girls who mention they enjoy art, a point on my must have list. We all have a list. Some longer than others. A keen intellect, a kind heart, and a fellow art lover are mine. I can work with these. And meeting strangers… Why do we choose that over friends of friends?
“. . .sometimes one feels freer speaking to a stranger than to people one knows. Why is that?” “Probably because a stranger sees us the way we are, not as he wishes to think we are.”
― Carlos Ruiz Zafón
Do we feel safer emotionally with a stranger? On some level I do. I’ve been judged to death by people I cared about. And for the most part the strangers I’ve met over the years have been much kinder than those already in my life. I’m unsure why that is, but it seems to be a reality. Once you become single after being married for so long. People, even friends, look at you differently. So diving into that sea of strangers is a welcome relief at times. Not to mention the wonderful new friends I have because of taking that swim with those strangers. I cannot imagine my life if I hadn’t risked it. I have the best friends a person can have. Some are married and very happy these days, yet we’re still friends. And I get to watch them do life with their forever love. It’s amazing, and it all began with a click…
“Each time you say hello to a stranger, your heart acknowledges over and over again that we are all family.”
― Suzy Kassem
So why are we all still single? Dating these days is so different. It’s a fast moving train really. A click, a call, a first meet, and many times, silence after that. I describe it as an audition more than a date. I believe that to be accurate. It can all happen in a day if one moves fast enough. Old school dating is a casualty of internet dating. But my life has been rewarded because of this dating site, so I am pro dating sites. Just be careful out there. Respect, kindness, and logic have been casualties as well. I am determined to always be a gentleman and be polite. My dad raised me this way, and I’ll remain that way. When someone is rude. I know they’ve been through something that made them that way. I feel for them. But do remove them from my life.
“Love enables mutual trust among strangers.” ― Toba Beta
Be a risk taker. Put yourself out there. Have the resolve to find your partner in crime. I gave up more times than I can remember. But I took a good hard look at those in my life because I swung the bat. My life is rich with good friends and people I know I can relate to, expose my heart to, and my phone rings every now and then. It will be a friend who simply needs a confidant, or vent to, even cry with. Diving into this cold sea has given my life purpose. Loving caring people I can include in my life and will forever. That makes the journey worth it, even if I never find her, I have love already. My forever will just be icing on my cake.
“in a world
― Sanober Khan