Single Again… She Remembered Me

By Kenneth Stepp

 

Love… What a subject. It has layers and complexities like no other word. From loving things like the beach and pizza. To loving another more than you love yourself. It can be amazing or tragic. Today is one of those amazing times for me. Today, the life I find myself in is that of a fairytale. Today, Prince Charming found the girl the glass slipper fits. Today. Well, today she said, “I love you”. Today my life is amazing. I found her. My Her…

 

“NOT UNTIL I MET YOU

 

Not until I felt your sunshine,

Did I realize that I had been in the shade.

Not until I saw all your colors,

Did I realize that mine had faded.

Not until I heard your dreams,

Did I realize that I was still sleeping.

And not until I experienced my life with you,

Did I realize that I was barely

Breathing.”

― Suzy Kassem

 

I’ve used this quote before. And every time I did I was writing about her. Very few knew. My mom knew. But few others. I was in love. I could not escape. I could not run. But mostly. I could not fall out of love with her. I tried dating others, spending time with friends, and even some things I will probably never tell her about. But as hard as I tried. Escape was impossible. I was in love and it was permanent love. Over the years poets, songwriters, and love stories warned me of such a love. Yet there I was standing in quicksand and knowing I wasn’t. I wouldn’t “be fine”, I would be a lot of things. Confused, angry, hurt, and even lost every now and then. But never fine. There is no cure for love. It’s terminal. Once real, unconditional love grabs you. It never let’s go. If you love this way. You will die that way too.

 

“We cannot decide to love. We cannot compel anyone to love us. There’s no secret recipe, only love itself. And we are at its mercy–there’s nothing we can do.”

― Nina George

 

I have written about my girl for over two years. When I finally accepted the fact that I had fallen. I had to write about her when I hurt. And for those two years. Well. I wrote about her a lot. But I never gave up on the idea of moving on. As a matter of fact. I poured almost all of my time into that idea. I dated a lot. I got to know some wonderful girls along the way. Many are still my friend. Many will always be a part of my future. I hope the friends I have today will always be my friends. They mean so much to me. They were not just time I was killing. All were very special in their own way. They still are today. But for me the story did not end with one of them. My story moved back in time when I first fell for the girl who I knew I would love forever. My story has a new beginning. My story turned on a dime. For those who do not believe in magic. You should stop reading now.

 

“God will bring the right person into your life at the right time. Always believe that! If they are not there, God isn’t finished yet!”

― Shannon L. Alder

 

I’m always a gentleman. I am always nice and above all. I am always kind. My dad was this way and somehow. He molded me this way as well. I say that to set up what happened a couple of weeks ago. My forever sent me a message on Facebook. “You spoiled me”, was what she said. How? She and I spent a lot of time together. Most of it a couple of years ago. She remembered how I treated her. As a friend no less. Thank you dad. I know you are in Heaven right now saying, I told you being a gentleman would pay off someday. It has too.

 

“You do not find love. It finds you.”

― Suzy Kassem

 

I remember something I told her a very long time ago.

 

“One day you will remember. One day you will want someone who will love you, all of you. You will always know that a man who shares no DNA with you loves you unconditionally. You know you are accepted fully and completely. One day you will want that love. It may be after a guy or two abuses, loses, or leaves you. But one day you will remember. You will remember me”

 

And one day she did.

2 Comments

  1. Beautiful, Ken. I admire and respect your ability to bare your soul. It seems that these are qualities and characteristics that are missing in so many people both female and male! Authenticity is one of the best words I can think of to describe you!

    • Thank you Lisa. This was Kim and me. I wrote this last August. I thought my search had ended. She really did remember me. It just didn’t last.

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