Single Again… Letting Love Grow

By Kenneth Stepp

 

Love, they say it’s a tricky thing. I’m beginning to believe it is far more simple than that. Maybe it is as simple as two people meet, have a mutual attraction, give it a try, remove other distractions and options, be honest, monogamous, and have an understanding. We can build from that. Don’t over think things, don’t look for faults, and above all, don’t expect perfection. You don’t possess it and neither will they. Get to know one another, not what others think of them, what you think. You see it’s simple. It’s two people who have set themselves aside for one another, in hopes of something long term happening. Maybe even the holy grail. Forever. I am still hoping for it. Have I already met her?

 

“I can’t promise you forever, because that’s not long enough. – Jason Dorsey”

Jasinda Wilder, Falling into Us

 

Those of us wandering around searching for forever always have moments of doubts, it’s part of the journey, and I have them often. Then in the middle of getting to know someone, it happens. I visualize, even fantasize about “us”. It’s happened a few times. It feels incredible till the fear sets in, and it always does. The negative thoughts, the what ifs, the doubts. These are what destroys a relationship before it begins. One minute we are envisioning what life would be like with them, the next minute we are searching for an excuse to run out the door. I’ve watched it happen, and lived it myself. Does that mean we aren’t ready? I don’t think so. I believe we are giving our past experiences power to destroy our future experiences. It is so counter productive. And if allowed, sentences us to a life alone and the possibility of missing the person we were suppose to share our life with. Be aware of it, fight it. Don’t let a person who mistreated you keep you from real love. It happens so often. We might miss forever this way.

 

“Every cell in my body was telling me that he was my happily ever after.”

C.J. English, Affairytale

 

So, how do we find a love that lasts? I know for me, it’s been a couple of close calls that ended for reasons I still can’t wrap my mind around. One still haunts me at times. It’s like she was my forever love, but from a great distance. Yea, that’s a funny one. Until it happens to you. I recently met a couple of girls who I am sure were wonderful mates and for whatever reason, their husbands looked elsewhere. It’s a sad truth that this happens often. I believe to find a love that lasts we have to be determined to follow through. Drown out and shut down the noise from others, believe in one another, and take time and develop our own opinions of their character and who they are down deep. Because people will talk, if they are your shining knight, the armor has tarnish if you look close. They all do. And you have flaws everywhere, me, the same thing. Like I said, all of us are flawed. The trick is to only see that giant value in one another. Then, you are able to never see anyone who compares. That means you have found forever. What a wonderful thought.

 

“There’s never going to be someone else,” he says, shaking his head. “You’ve wrecked me. I wouldn’t be any good to anybody now—except for you.”

Emm Cole, The Short Life of Sparrows

2 Comments

  1. It’s imperative to take “leaving” off the table (barring abuse). Commitment is not easy. Sometimes, it’s simply day by day getting by. I don’t speak from any long-term spousal relationship status; I haven’t even entertained that kind of thought for more than 30 years, but in every circumstance where commitment is involved, it’s the same principle. The paths are rarely primrose and carefree in the long haul, but, when taken as the whole, they are more than worth the time, effort, and determination.

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