Single Again… Imagine That

By Kenneth stepp

 

Imagine that… Two words that are capable of bringing almost anything to one’s mind. For me, it’s always about this singles journey I find myself on. What if bad timing, a not so exciting first meeting, or one of the many things that keep two people apart happens between the girl I suppose to share my life with before we even have a chance to begin? Not only do I believe this happens. I believe it happens most of the time. It must. Most of us on this journey will either always be on this journey or give up altogether on finding forever love. Growing tired of the many games, heartaches, and let downs that come with this journey happens a lot. I have endured so many myself. And I have heard the ongoing struggles that everyone encounters. There is nothing easy about it and the longer we are doing this dance, the more these experiences change us.

 

Here I go, imagining that again. Did we miss one another? Will our ships continue to have this chasm between them? If so, how do we correct our drifts if our ships continue passing one another in the night? Are she and I still unknown to one another? Or did we try, are we trying, or are we in one another’s lives in some capacity? Welcome to my mind’s eye. I can’t help but to think this way. Many don’t take the dating thing seriously at all. To me, it is one of the most important pursuits of my life. I want forever. I may even be somewhat obsessed with it. Can a person be “somewhat obsessed?” Oh well, another quandary for another day. Today my thoughts go deep. That can be a good or a bad thing. Depends on why and what. Today is my day to fear missing someone for whatever reason we didn’t meet, click, or communicate well. Today I wonder. I do this more often than I’d care to admit.

 

“Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.”

Eric Roth

 

That sounds so unfair, doesn’t it? To be defined by our losses, rather than our wins in life. But that is how life works. Imagine if you can, that Billy Graham’s mic was still on and he cursed at someone backstage. Many would be apt to remember him for that moment rather than a lifetime of wonderful and courageous work. It’s a sad truth really. This is sadly, the way humans think. So, it may be unfair. But it is realistic. As a member of the human race, I have had so many moments I do not want others to remember me for, far too many. More than anything, I would hate the thought of missing my destiny because of these.

 

“Footfalls echo in the memory, down the passage we did not take, towards the door we never opened, into the rose garden.”

T.S. Eliot

 

Once again I find myself with far more questions than answers. Are you out there? Do you know me? Have I missed you? Far too many questions and too few answers. For me, the thought of missing her is tough to process. I can’t help processing them. It’s the way my brain works. Matters of the heart seem to always wind up entwined in my intellect, I wish that wasn’t so. I imagine that’s what many of us do. What if our ships finally met on equal ground? What if we just decided to make that happen? What if we became a “we”, because we showed resolve? What if forever happened because we pushed past the boundaries and the walls? What if we were still telling our story twenty years later?  Imagine that….

 

“Our biggest regrets are not for the things we have done but for the things we haven’t done”

Chad Michael Murray

2 Comments

  1. You are right on the money. You meet people with the hope that they may be the one and you are once again disappointed because for whatever reason there is no connection. Again you go home feeling sad and wondering if you will ever meet the right person you can fall in love with. I know it has happened to me.

    Carychaz

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