By Kenneth Stepp
You look foolish! I’ve been told that on more than one occasion. The truth is, I didn’t just look foolish, I was being foolish, and for no good reason. Is there ever a good reason to do something foolish? You probably already know my answer. I’ll do anything for love, anything. If looking foolish brings me one step closer to my forever love, hand me my red squeaky nose and my clown shoes, stand me on a busy street corner, and paint me pink. She’s worth every bit of it. She’s all I’ve ever wanted, she will be the last girl I meet as a stranger, the last girl I will pursue blindly, and the last eyes I will stare into lovingly. She’s my girl, my forever, my destiny, and if looking goofy or stupid gets me to her, I’m good with that.
“Some may call it foolish, but at my age, when you love someone, you move to the rhythm of your own heart—life is too short to worry about how the shape & size of one’s love appears to the rest of the world.” ― Terry A O’Neal
My girl… I love those two words spoken together, they excite me. They represent success for me. Together they mean I am a partner and even more importantly, that I have a partner. My life goes from mine to ours at the promise of us. Have you ever thought of what forever looks like for you? Most of us have an idea, most know it isn’t going to be perfect, they know it may not even be love. I’ve watched from a distance as friends settle. For me, it’s painful to watch and more importantly, it’s ending is totally predictable, the only thing unpredictable is when will it end, when will the relationship that these two wonderful people, created in their own minds, end? It’s a sad reality I’ve watched play out often. Dating these days can be complex. Much more complicated than I recall.
“You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.” ― Colette
Love is foolish by any societies standards. You are independent, self sustaining, and, by nature, self centered. Before you say, I am not, slow down for my point. Game theory is a phrase in science that describes the most basic thing about the human condition. Game theory is the belief that a person will always do what is in their own best interest. As a man of science, I never questioned this. Until the day I was hit head on in my car. Without thinking, I turned the wheel to the right making me take the brunt of the hit. Why? Because my son was in the front seat with me. I also through my right arm in front of him. You see, love trumps nature every time. Love made me foolish. Love made me want my son’s happiness or safety over my own. My love prefered him over me. Foolish? I’d do it every time.
“Accept the possibility of being foolish, or accept being alone” – k stepp
I met a girl almost 6 years ago and fell in love with her. I wrote about her, pined over her, and hoped for far too long that she would return. Years went by. I know what it’s like to be foolish for love. Even she told me that I was in love with an idea, not her. I looked foolish to my friends and even to the person I loved for actually loving her. Love is foolish. Love can leave you with a red nose and very long shoes. Embrace it, wait for real love, time doesn’t heal, it just reminds you how deep love can be.
Perhaps foolishness is a path or a rite of passage, in some way. Have we evolved so far as species that love has lost its importance? There are days when I believe this with all my heart. I have loved 3 times in my life, looking back, my question is always, did I love alone? The answer varies from day to day, the reality is that I am alone, I have loved, and I’ll do anything to have love again. Am I desperate? To some, I guess I look that way. I say that I am simply measured. I await love’s coming like the beach waits for the sea to return. I know it’s there, I know it’s real. I just don’t know if it will return while I am still standing on the shore…
“Love can leave you looking silly, love can leave you feeling lost, it seems that what love is best at is leaving, it leaves me wanting more” – k stepp