Single Again… Beyond Chemistry


By Kenneth Stepp


Chemistry is an amazing part of my journey. To experience chemistry is one of the finest parts of this quest for forever. It doesn’t happen often. But when it does, it’s incredible. Many singles have an agenda and reference a person’s resume when choosing a mate, lover, or friend. How much they make, assets, height, weight, etc.  Me, I want chemistry. I want to desire my girl. When we meet, I want sparks. I want to feel electricity flow through my body. And I want to be wanted back. For me, this is the beginning of something meaningful.


“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

― C.G. Jung


I can recall a few times when meeting someone new, a feeling all of the sudden appears. The few times it happened to me were totally unexpected. I meet a lot of new acquaintances and chemistry is rare. I think it’s that way for all of us. We go along doing what we do. I call it, lunch with strangers. Not anything wrong with that at all. I love meeting new people. There have been a couple I’ve gotten to know quite well and never met. There’s a type of chemistry that doesn’t require breathing the same air. But eventually, it’s a must. The force of nature that builds in these cases compel us to find one another. To have a liasson somewhere. To actually look into one another’s eyes and see if those feelings are real.


“Our eyes met and our souls caught on fire.”

― Nikki Rowe


Knowing a fire is burning deep inside me is frightening and exciting at the same time. My mind switches into high gear the few times I’ve experienced this. Does she feel it too? Is she into me? Does she want me to hug her? Kiss her? I remember sitting at a table and holding someone hand who instantly became very special to me. It’s as if I had to touch them. To be closer than I was. It’s risky I suppose. Putting yourself out there. Lately I have made myself be brutally honest with those in my life. New or old friends. If I’m interested, I say it. No ambiguity whatsoever. I like you, there I said it. I’m interested in more. What happens next helps me decide to pursue her or stay in the friend zone. It takes some of the mystery out of things, but can help the progression of whatever we will be to one another. I think it’s the best policy.


“Some of us have deeper feelings for one over another. It can’t be helped. It’s chemistry. It’s inherent. You can’t make yourself love someone you don’t and you can’t make yourself stop loving someone you do.”

― Kate McGahan


So what do we do when chemistry exists? I assure you it’s rare, at least in my world. Do we act? Do we suppress? Do we keep what we feel a secret from the subject of our desires? We’re all different. My journey is different from yours. We all get hurt. We all fail. Some of us bounce back easier than others. Some of us never bounce back. For me, if I’m lucky enough to have these sparks with someone, I will be bold, I’ll be upfront, and I will pursue until it either works out or the signs are there that we will never be a we. It turns out honesty really is the best policy. It saves us time and emotions we don’t want to waste on something going nowhere. Perhaps that’s the answer… Be nice, be honest, and for goodness sakes, keep your sanity intact. Enjoy the ride my friends.


 “Ever since [that day], a small uncertainty had buzzed between us.It was a sense of chemistry that had been a little elusive, a little imprecise, until now.”

― Amor Towles