Single Again, The Warrior

By Kenneth Stepp

There are days when I am but a humble warrior, armor dented, blood-stained, and beaten from battle. I stand firm, I am unscathed by the day’s events, but to you, I will always yield.

I approach your throne. I am on one knee; my head bowed, my sword lies in my open hands before you. I surrender, not because I lost, but because all I have belongs to you, all I will ever be belongs to you. You are both my past and my future, my heart, my very being, is already yours. My physical body is now yours as well. Acceptance is all I hope for.

Accept what is left of me after the battle, embrace the future of knowing, instead of hoping for love. Before you, I kneel, asking to be accepted. It is time to enjoy life again. I will always be yours as a lover, protector, provider, as the guardsman at the gate. Ready to, like today, give me to you fully. You are worthy of my all, my best, every shred of me, my forever.

I am humbled while you ponder this action, hopeful that you will accept me, praying that all I have left will be enough, knowing my life is weighed in the balance of your next words. Freely given, and a willing surrender of all I am or will be.

Today is heavy. I am tired but excited. I am bruised, but healing. I am uncertain yet more sure than ever. To be accepted by someone so amazing, so pure, so perfect. Is this a dream? Is there hope? Until the certainty of the grave, to you, I surrender my all.

Tomorrow will be a new battle, tomorrow, upon surviving the day, I will approach your throne again. One knee on the ground, head bowed, sword laying in my open hands. Once again, praying for acceptance. I am compelled, I must, it is all my heart wants. From the moment I awake, until the moment I awake again. This warrior has one goal, one reason to live, my heart beats for you alone. To honor you, to belong to you. From afar, or together, you hold my heart. The rest has no importance without you.

Although I know you both inside and out, I do not know your name, although I have sought you and fought for you for years, I do not know where you are, although you have been in my dreams, in my words, my goal, my only love, I still search for you. You are but thoughts and feelings, yet more real to me than anyone I have ever known. You are Her, my Her, my forever love. Take me while I have something left to give. Help me find you. Want me, need me, keep me. This warrior is battle-weary and so tired. Ready to surrender to you alone. Ready for forever.

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