Single Again… To Love And Be Loved

By: Kenneth Stepp

“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow – this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert

I seldom begin with a quote. This one spoke to my heart before I began, this one says it all for me. To be fully seen, fully known, yet loved anyway. I trembled writing it, it is the ultimate life could offer. A human offering. To surrender myself to another, to be that vulnerable, to open the breastplate of protection guarding your heart and say, please accept my all, my best, and my worst. Saying I love you unconditionally. Praying the same is returned. If it is, soulmates are created. Together forever. That is a miracle. A miracle because unconditional love is outside of human comprehension until it enters one’s life.

Having someone know every small detail about you and wanting to know more, no judgment, no agenda. Just placing you in the center of their life. It’s an honor. They have lowered all walls, all bridges are down, all guards sent home, just an exposed heart waiting to be accepted. There are only two outcomes at this point. I have only experienced one of them, yet want to continue one day in my search. One outcome is that they too, lower all boundaries, expose their hearts, and your love for one another will be, not only forever, but, you see one another the way God would. Flawless, blameless, and truly, perfect. Unconditional love blocks out what the world sees. To love and be loved unconditionally is indeed a Godlike event. Seldom happening. When it does. It is powerful. The other outcome is so painful. Healing, they say, comes with time. Most days, I doubt that.

“My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.” ― Maya Angelou

The courage to accept their love in return? Ms Angelou was one of the most insightful people in history. She is missed. What would it take? The courage to accept love in return is a great question, until you realize what it entails. Perhaps every time you accepted love back, you were damaged, hurt, and used. This is what happens when we confuse man’s love with God’s love. One is not only perfect, it only sees perfection. The other is constantly looking for ways of bettering it’s own position in life. You were a part of that strategy. Like all of mankind’s plans, they failed, you lost. You were hurt. We have to relearn what real love is, or live without it forever. That would be sad. If you don’t recognize it when or if it comes. You will have a life designed around getting from one day to the next.

There will always be pain in life. We decide what kind we will live with. As painful as the love I carry is today, I will always carry it. Why? Because it is real. I will end this with the very best example I know of.

“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” ― Margery Williams, – The Velveteen Rabbit

*To hold your face in my hands and say, “I love you”, and because I do, everything will be alright. This is my fantasy, my dream, my quest*