Op Ed: Expect It to Accept It

By Lindy Earl

It’s easier to accept news, good or bad, when you see it coming. For example, when you know a loved one is dying due to an illness such as cancer, and the news comes, it’s easier to accept the inevitable versus hearing that a loved one passed away in a sudden and unexpected accident.  When we expect things to happen, it’s easier to accept them when they do.

Expectation also allows us to get our ducks in a row.  When you plan on quitting your job, for instance, you can begin cleaning out your office slowly, and preparing yourself for lost relationships and a different routine.  But when the termination comes at the hands of others, it’s far harder to accept.  It can also lead to some chaos as life causes you to do things you didn’t plan: rather than cleaning out your office you may be throwing things in a box. You may suddenly find yourself updating your resume.

What happens if the unexpected is a change in your relationship? When you are the one planning on leaving, you can prepare your mind. You might line up some support and plan your first few weekends to be sure you’re distracted. But when the relationship is ended for you – there you are. Alone. Possibly confused. Probably lonely.

In life, I think we should decide to expect a lot from other people.  I know this is the opposite of popular thinking.  If you don’t expect anything (say this is a whiny voice in your head, please) – If you don’t expect anything from others, you won’t be disappointed (end whiny voice).

No, you won’t be disappointed, but you may miss a lot of great things!

People may surprise you as you expect great things from them.  You may see colleagues meeting deadlines and employees arriving at work on time, your Significant Other being even more thoughtful and helpful, and even your children improving their grades as you treat your wishes as expectations, not hopes.

So let’s start expecting! Choose to expect good things and prepare for them.  Expect that promotion.  Expect to be the one to be chosen for the European business trip (if that’s what you want; I don’t enjoy the flight to Europe).  Expect a great weekend and vacations. Expect financial success!

Your air of expectation will create a confidence in you.  When the good things come, you will recognize them immediately and be ready to accept them.  You won’t have to talk yourself into anything because you know you deserve it and were expecting it.  This may lead to disappointment when something doesn’t happen, but a little disappointment is worth what you gain from expecting great things.

Start looking forward and expecting great things in all parts of your life.  You may unwittingly make them happen just by being ready to receive.

            Lindy is a Speaker, Columnist, Author, and Consultant.

* Contact her at Ask@LindySpeaks.com to submit a question for her Advice Column or hire her as a Consultant or to speak at your next event.

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* Purchase her latest book, Surviving Holidays and Events After Divorce at

http://www.lindyspeaks.com/Products.html for $8.00 (half off Amazon’s price).